Debut

12/3/09

I'm five hours away from my first show in Europe. (Unless you count a “gala” I did for Air France in the Bristol Airport where I did some cheerleading/partner acro, or circus school shows. I don't.) I should probably play my cards a bit closer to my chest on this one, but I just can't. I'm freaking out. The most nervous I've ever been must have been before my show at Moisture Festival, when I thought the casting director for Zin Zanni was in the house. It's the only time I thought I would puke from nerves. I didn't puke, and the casting director wasn't in the house, but the casting director from Pegasus Variete was, and here I am in Germany! Whew.

Essentially, this is where my rope act began. When Nils and I went to Germany and Spain forever many years ago, I packed a rope. I wasn't particularly in love with rope at the time, but I was for sure not into tissu, so rope was the next most portable thing. Apart from hanging it from Nils' mom's balcony in Barcelona I didn't really get on it until we were in Berlin and I found Katakomben. It was a great place to train on a very terrible rope—it felt like it was made of sandpaper, rocks and razor blades. However, so am I, so I smashed my teeth together and started piecing together bits of what is now my act. Berlin was the first place I started throwing my back flip off the rope. Back then I was trying to re-catch it. Eventually, I grew to like just landing on my feet. It would be nice to learn a catch, though.

I applied this act to a zillion festivals and either heard nothing, or got rejections from all of them. I didn't give a shit, though, because before those letters started coming in, I'd gotten this contract. Somebody thought I was good! Everyone else could eat me.

So, it's with that in the back of my mind that I try to calm my nerves today. “They asked me to come here”. “They already like my act.” “I just have to do it how I've done it a million times.” Okay, so that's working now, with 4 hours to go. I'm sure in about 3 hours 45 min, I'll be holding back the vom.