Ich spreche kein Duetsch

The biggest sections of the grocery store by my new house are the chocolate section and the booze section. The sausage section comes in a close 3rd. I love it here.

When I was learning German before I left(by Rosetta Stone, which is awesome) I was a bit dumbfounded by the randomness of the words I was being taught. Sink=Spulbecken (not responsible for misspellings in German). When would I have to use the word for sink?

When I have to ask if it's safe to drink the water from the sink, of course, which I happily turned to my roommate and said yesterday, hardly able to keep myself from jumping up and down with pride when I said it. “Can I drink the water from the sink? Does it taste good?” FUCK YES! I speak German so awesome!

“What is your name, man selling produce?” “Where is my mat, stage manager?” “See you tomorrow, people in the cast!” “How much does swimming cost, pool boy?” “I'm sorry, I don't speak German, lady slicing my bread at the bakery.”

I can't understand a word anyone says back to me unless it's a number up to 50. That's when that last sentence comes, quickly, regretfully, apologetically, into the conversation. If someone said, “The boy has red hair” or “The man washes the car” I'd be on it, but sadly, in real life, no one really speaks in the present tense. It's all “I did this” or “I'm going to do that”. I'm all in the moment, all the time in Germany. I'm a now person, damn it! The rest of you are just pining for the past or wishing for the future, but I AM wearing socks and I AM reading a book and I AM learning German RIGHT FREAKING NOW!

So, boo-ya, Bensheim! Behold my powers of the present. I might not speak German at all, but at least I'm not doing it RIGHT NOW.